I am proud to say I have gotten through week 1. I started late in the week so while I may not have done the entire week I still go so much out of the tasks and exercises. The main goal of the first week was to establish a sense of safety. In first reading this I thought, safety? I don’t feel unsafe. However, safety is a sense or a feeling.
One of the first big ah ha’s was that I fear stepping out of the shadows and being visible to those around me. I am comfortable sitting in the shadows. If I do that what I have “accomplished” will disappear at the slightest negative event, comment, or thought. These don’t have to come from anyone on the outside. I beat myself up enough, but Cameron brought to light the need for self nurturance for continued success.
This will not be a quick and effortless journey. The first step is patching up those old wounds. I will make mistakes, but they are necessary for progress. I must be willing to accept my mistakes and learn from them. I must not beat myself up with negative notions. So in writing morning pages, those negatives turn into affirmations. For example if I write, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be successful” turns into…”I will be successful in…”. No one will believe in you, if don’t believe in yourself. It is uncomfortable at first, but I did notice myself rethinking negative thoughts often this week.
There were also 10 tasks this week. The goal each week is to do at least half and take an artist date. My artist date was a great experience. I went cookie decorating. I am not a particularly artistic person, but some of them came out pretty well. So now I know I have what it takes, if I just put my mind to it. I did my morning pages every day this week and felt more clear headed as I went through my day. I also see myself being more cognizant of my thoughts throughout the day and look forward to getting things down on paper.
I am excited to continue on this journey. If you are reading the Artist’s Way, doing morning pages, or on your own journey to self enlightenment share your blog or a comment below so we can do this together. The goal is to surround ourselves with people who will build us up. I am going to complete this journey and be a better person for spending well deserved time on me.